"All girls continue to be taught when they are young, if not by their parents then by the culture around them, that they must earn the right to be loved — that “femaleness” is not good enough. This is a female’s first lesson in the school of patriarchal thinking and values. She must earn love. She is not entitled. She must be good enough to be loved. And good is always defined by someone else, someone on the outside."
@5 months ago with 11794 notes
bell hooks in Communion: Female Search for Love (via nepantlera-en-la-frontera)
True shit. We’re taught that if someone doesn’t love us, then we didn’t work hard enough or try hard enough, or we simply weren’t good enough. That kind of psychotic mindset impacts so many young women.
I think the most twisted form of this is, “You have to love yourself first!” I hate that one. It’s used to make absolutely everything our fault. “Men keep abusing me.” Well, if you don’t love yourself first that’s the type of guy you’ll attract! “No one will love me because I’m Black.” Well, if you love yourself first, you can magically not be aware of racism!
(Source: daniellemertina, via emmywinner)